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datatime: 2022-12-01 02:09:49 Author:cSMDkZCE

1/17/63: Met Andy for lunch. He was attentive. Wide Country--Andy was brilliant, I was an EXTRA. Felt depressed. 1/20/63: Andy--aloof. 2/5/63: Tense & anxious over Andy's attitude. 2/11/63: Me tense, blurred vision. To Dr. Getzoff (pills) with Andy. 2/19/63: Must maintain my own identity; not become his door-mat. So useless.

11/27 or 28:

At his house; found out about Cheryl H. & B. Scott. Awful 'I don't want to see you tonight either.' I went over. Got in. Came back later--HYSTERICS.

At his house; found out about Cheryl H. & B. Scott. Awful 'I don't want to see you tonight either.' I went over. Got in. Came back later--HYSTERICS.

Karyn tanked auditions. Karyn shopped and ate and saw shrinks.

Woke up feeling slightly nauseous & groggy. Hallucinations, inferiority complex, aching limbs, stiff neck, (surely liver damage) resulted from pills.

Karyn jotted down some book tides. They were psychoanalytic texts.

1/17/63: Met Andy for lunch. He was attentive. Wide Country--Andy was brilliant, I was an EXTRA. Felt depressed. 1/20/63: Andy--aloof. 2/5/63: Tense & anxious over Andy's attitude. 2/11/63: Me tense, blurred vision. To Dr. Getzoff (pills) with Andy. 2/19/63: Must maintain my own identity; not become his door-mat. So useless.

11/22/63: President assassinated.

10/8/62: Cried myself to sleep. 10/9 to I 1/10/62: doodles and incomplete notations. 11/11/62: Continuous hysteria. Deepest depression ever. 1 2/3/62: Wide Country--6:00 A.M. call (location). 12/4/62: Andy Prine--doll 105 pounds. Andy. 'Raincheck. I 2/9/62: Andy. 12/1 1/62: Andy. 12/12/62: Look thin. 12/13/62: Andy. 12/i8, 19, 20, 21, 22: Andy--and no other notations.

3/25/63: Andy picked me up 5:3o. Lovely love--ate at DuPar's--Back & lovely love. 4/ 9/6 3: Eating much too much. 4/11/63: I love Andy Prine. 5/21/63: 12 P.M.--Dr. Kroger. Gave me weight capsules. Finally get a 'lift.' Appetite's inhibited. 5/30/63: Andy distant--me terribly possessive and weak.

Beside them:

11/25/63: Ate to oblivion.

6/27/63: Getting my self-respect back. I'm stronger. 6/30/63: Oh Andy, lovely, lovely. 7/1/63: 134 pounds. Beginning today--I starve 124 pounds. Dr. Krohn, 1:30 p.M. (Figure's looking better.) Andy: 'It excites me to hurt U a little.

3/25/63: Andy picked me up 5:3o. Lovely love--ate at DuPar's--Back & lovely love. 4/ 9/6 3: Eating much too much. 4/11/63: I love Andy Prine. 5/21/63: 12 P.M.--Dr. Kroger. Gave me weight capsules. Finally get a 'lift.' Appetite's inhibited. 5/30/63: Andy distant--me terribly possessive and weak.

11/25/63: Ate to oblivion.

7/11/63: Called Dr. Estrada again. Getting used to the idea. Karyn got an abortion on 7/12/63. Traumatic. Glad it's over. Relief after nightmare. She returned to L.A. Andy considerate & attentive. Knots, gas--like cramps. Andy made soup.

10/8/62: Cried myself to sleep. 10/9 to I 1/10/62: doodles and incomplete notations. 11/11/62: Continuous hysteria. Deepest depression ever. 1 2/3/62: Wide Country--6:00 A.M. call (location). 12/4/62: Andy Prine--doll 105 pounds. Andy. 'Raincheck. I 2/9/62: Andy. 12/1 1/62: Andy. 12/12/62: Look thin. 12/13/62: Andy. 12/i8, 19, 20, 21, 22: Andy--and no other notations.

10/8/62: Cried myself to sleep. 10/9 to I 1/10/62: doodles and incomplete notations. 11/11/62: Continuous hysteria. Deepest depression ever. 1 2/3/62: Wide Country--6:00 A.M. call (location). 12/4/62: Andy Prine--doll 105 pounds. Andy. 'Raincheck. I 2/9/62: Andy. 12/1 1/62: Andy. 12/12/62: Look thin. 12/13/62: Andy. 12/i8, 19, 20, 21, 22: Andy--and no other notations.

A list of all the men she'd slept with.

Karyn learned she was pregnant. Mark and Marcia took her down to Tj. 7/9/6 3: Like a nightmare. This can't be happening to me. 7/10/63: Oh God--I don't know what to do. Called Dr. Estrada (call back after noon).

Karyn flew to Chicago for Christmas. 12/28, 12/31 and 1/1/63: Andy called--'I love you.

Andy acting ugly. Complete indifference. Scene at his house. I'm hysterical.

11/23/63: Palm Springs.

11/22/63: President assassinated.

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